Rising Above: Why I Refuse to Let Others Define My Success as a Writer

Writing is a journey filled with challenges, triumphs, and sometimes, the mockery of those who do not understand our passion. As a writer, I have often found myself surrounded by successful people—some who inspire me and others who question my dreams. My father once shared a piece of advice: the best revenge is to outlive those who doubt you. While I appreciate the sentiment, I have learned that seeking revenge can detract from the art I love.

As aspiring novelists, we invest our hearts into our words, crafting stories and expressing our thoughts with fervor. However, this passion can lead to ridicule from those who do not share our love for writing. In this post, I will explain why I refuse to let the opinions of others dictate my success and how embracing my journey can enrich my experience as a writer.

Understanding the Noise Around You

In any creative field, doubt often lurks like an uninvited guest. You may feel it creeping in when you share your work, only to hear snickers or see eye rolls from naysayers. Facing criticism can be tough, especially from those who should appreciate your struggle.

Every writer experiences failure and negativity. It is part of the process. I too have faced instances where my work was disregarded or belittled. For example, during a workshop, one of my short stories was met with a dismissive remark that suggested I take up a different hobby. While that moment stung, I chose to view it as an opportunity for growth rather than a reason to seek revenge. These experiences have shaped me; they do not define me.

Redefining Success Beyond Revenge

Success is subjective. What does it mean to you? For me, it is not about proving others wrong; rather, it is about the satisfaction of completing a piece, the joy of developing characters that resonate, and the thrill of connecting with readers. A survey from the National Endowment for the Arts found that 82% of Americans believe creativity is essential for personal fulfillment. This aligns with my experience; when I focus on my own accomplishments instead of comparing myself to others, I begin to flourish as a writer and a human being.

Focusing on personal growth fosters authenticity in our work. Sure, the sting of mockery can be unbearable, but channeling that energy into honing our craft can be liberating. I have discovered that every time I write, I do it not for an audience, but for myself. Full disclosure, I am happy you are with me on the journey.

Finding Your Community

As writers, it is crucial to surround ourselves with supportive individuals who uplift and inspire us. The right community can be a haven where ideas blossom and support is plentiful. If you feel pressured by the successful people around you, seek out those who align with your journey.

Join local writing groups or online forums that promote positivity and value each member’s contributions. For instance, I am planning to spend a weekend in the Poconos for a writers retreat sponsored by Hightlights Magazine. There I am going to transform my perspective and remind myself that I write for more than to achieve some recognition; I write because it brings me joy.

Embracing the Journey, Not Just the Outcome

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to embrace the process of writing, not merely the end product. Each word, every editing session, and even the critiques I receive are integral to my story.

I used to fixate on reaching a specific level of success that I thought would validate my talent. Instead, I have shifted my focus to celebrating the small victories along the way. Completing a chapter, finding the ideal plot twist, or even sticking to a writing schedule are the moments that truly matter. According to a study in the Journal of Writing Research, writers who focus on daily goals report a 50% increase in their writing productivity.

Remember, every successful author was once a beginner. It is vital to acknowledge that those who seem accomplished today once faced their own doubts and critical voices.

Healthier Motivation

Motivation fueled by revenge can be toxic, overshadowing our passion and creativity. I believe that the healthiest motivation comes from within. When we write for ourselves, we create freely and authentically.

The path to fulfillment as a writer involves channeling our energy into personal growth and creativity rather than reacting to negativity. When we let go of the need for revenge, we become open to new possibilities and find joy in writing itself.

Claiming My Own Definition of Success

Ultimately, the journey of a writer is marked by unique challenges and abundant rewards. I have learned not to let others dictate my success or define my worth. Each dismissive glance drives me further to succeed—not out of revenge, but from a genuine desire for growth, fulfillment, and connection.

Rise above the noise. Write for yourself and craft your own definition of success without being held back by others. Your words matter more than any unsolicited critique. Whether you're drafting novels or journaling, make sure your motivation stems from your love for the craft, not the desire to retaliate.

In my writing journey, I refuse to let others define my success. I celebrate my passion, my progress, and the community I build along the way. Here’s to embracing our voices and writing—not to prove a point—but to truly express ourselves.